Monday, July 4, 2011

Irresponsible Forgetful, Careless???

I feel like lately these 3 words have been one in the same in my daily life...  :( 
I seriously feel like I'm falling apart at the seams...  I have completely LOST all control, and I don't like it....  I've been feeling it for the last few weeks...  It's almost like I've commited myself to do too much...  BUT that's never been a problem before...  YET the in the last few weeks I have noticed that I really need to figure out a way to "prioritize my priorites" ugh I hate the way that sounds...  how do I "choose" my priorities?  I know the answer to this, but it's going to be hard.....  But I also feel like I'm starting to fall apart...  and it's all coming down like dominoes, fast!
  • I'm not sure when I realized it, if it was the week when I screwed up my shifts at work two times in a row?? 
  • or if it was when I had a meltdown because I'm forever letting people "borrow" stuff and then forget to get it back, so I have found myself buying stuff all over again grrr....  Nothing like realizing my almost complete Disney movie collection is now WAAAAYYYY incomplete, nothing like going to use something only to realize someone else has it....  Now I know it's  because I've lent them people???  I just wish I had remembered to get the "stuff" back 
  • or maybe it was when I started to get frustrated with everyone, including myself, and their/my lack of concept of time.... 
  • or maybe it was when I lost my camera's lens cap.....
  • or maybe it was when I bailed on my a family dinner at my sister's BECAUSE I was too tired to go, and accidentally fell asleep on the couch?
  • or maybe it was because I bailed on a get-together with the dorm people, and a 4th of July party with my "mommy" friends and their families
  • Nope it was when I realized that I've been so busy that I have neglected to notice that my red lightning is need of a little LOVE, a carwash, probably her next service, I've neglected to look to see when it is, and a paint job, I've pushed her and my safety, for that matter, aside for "lack of time"....  NOTHING like getting this reality check while driving myself up the mountain to Lake Arrowhead....  She sputtered a little half way up the mountain....  It scared me half to death, I'm not going to lie.  Nothing like being scared out of my life for a few seconds to get the point....  I seriously can't remember the last time i was that scared... you know that "scared" feeling when you start shaking, and sweating all at the same time, and then suddenly  you get nauseous, and all you can think about is how you feel like you're going to throw up?   I don't get scared, or anxious, EVER  but let me tell you....  I was scared out of my mind, and completely anxious.... 
  • I pulled over, said a prayer, browsed the internet on my phone to see if I should be "worried", promised myself and God that I would be more RESPONSIBLE, less FORGETFUL, and less CARELESS, and preceded on my drive up the mountain, still shaking, nauseous, and scared, and HOPING that we would at least make it to the safety of "family".... stupid maybe, but we made it....  and we made it back down too...  i think it was God's way to get his point across, in a nice way...  :/  Oh and Michael got her all fixed up today, and ready for me!!  :)  Thanks Michael...  I promise to go back to being the "resposible" sister in law you remember!
  • The only way to do this is to learn how to Prioritize my Priorities....  I think I started this weekend, AND IT WAS GOOD FOR ME..... I had a great time with the family, we went to sea world one day after work, the next day I drove up to meet them after work at Lake Arrowhead to watch the most amazing fireworks show I have seen in a long time and then we spent quality pool time together on the 3rd day of the weekend....  I did miss the friends a little...  BUT I wouldn't change the fun family memories we made this weekend!!  :)
  • I hope everyone's weekend was as fun-filled as mine!!  :)  and I hope you all had a  fabulous
4th of July!!  :)  I did!

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