Tuesday, May 26, 2009
and suddenly it all makes sense!!!
...... So for the last few months I've been going around in circles wondering where I went "wrong". I kinda felt like I've been in sort of like a funk, almost like I wasn't myself. I've been trying to figure out when and where the transformation happened, actually I know exactly when it happened, one of my close friends told me that I was a horrible friend, somehow it stuck and I actually believed it for a little while...... It's funny I had actually been thinking and talking to God about it, and suddenly it hit me the other day while I was sitting around another friends living room, I'm not that bad of a person, for years I've made it a point to make EVERYONE else feel special, while never expecting anything in return, and I still don't.... That's just the person that I am. But I think after the "horrible" friend comment was made I decided that I was gonna try being a 'horrible friend" and well let's just say that I didn't like where it put me in my life, it made me a person that I am not, so the other day I decided that I'm just going to go back to being the person that I used to be, while not feeling badly about having to say no here and there.... I've realized that it's ok to miss an event here and there, if nothing else to keep my sanity.... sometimes I feel like I'm going in 25 different directions, and that's just in one day.... :)I've also come to the conclusion that everyone is entitled to their own opinion of me, and that is perfectly ok. It's taken years and a variety of people in my life to realize that those people that really care about us will ALWAYS be just a phone call away, whether it's been an hour or a year since we've last talked to them, AND these are the one's that love us for who we are.... :-D So here's to me being me, I made a "horrible" friend anyway!!! hahaha ;)