Thanks for playin'........

.....BUT we don't NEED YOU ANYMORE!!!

Those words have been playing in my head for the last week.... It was exactly a week ago today that I got the news.... I was being laid off of my job.... AFTER 13 YEARS, the company decided that they "didn't need me anymore," I had been "DROPPED" from the "team I played for, for 13 years.... 2 more weeks and it would of been 14.... UGH.....

Back up to the tuesday before, I got a txt from a friend, all he said was, layoffs, coming we'll know more tomorrow.... WAIT WHAT???

Wednesday, we learned it would be around 2500 people... 10 - 12 people per store, We knew he most likely wouldn't make it, he barely squeaked by the last layoff.... Then I/we did the math, I had a different feeling this time, like I wouldn't make it... We talked about it, discussed what we thought our options would be, we decided what we would do, he assured me that I might/should be ok, you have 13 years he said, I went with his optimism... ;) I came home and told my parents, I sent out a txt to the sister, and the cousin. They all said that I should "trust God and his will," I knew they were right..... I went to the baseball game that night with another friend, I talked it out with him, we discussed my options and what I thought I would do, he also assured me that I would/should be ok... ugh... so hard... I really did feel differently this time....

Thursday we met again for Linner and discussed it again, I said, "I would let it be whatever it would be, "everything happens for a reason" has ALWAYS been my motto... he corrected me and said ALMOST everything... ummmm... ok! ;) Then I met the girls for girls night... I discussed/shared it with the besties, they asked what I would do? I told them what I thought I would do.... I still wasn't sure if it even concerned me... I basically told them and we moved on... I had left it up to God and I was sure it would be what it would be!!!

Friday.... we didn't hear anything, but Ruben and I still talked about it, we thought we had about 2 weeks... Then the call came.... They called him into the office first... he came back and reported that he was being laid off.... he said, it's A LOT OF US, BIG PLAYERS, OH YEAH! YOUR NAME IS ON THE LIST TOO! then it was my turn, Maria to the office... "here goes nothing," ;) and I was off... I went, I was ready, I sat, My store director who I have worked for the WHOLE time, I've been with the company gave me the news... he told me he was sorry, went over my options, I gave him my decision, he said he was sorry again, then he said next week will be your last week... I got up, left the office, and through teary eyes managed a mass txt to the family, and a few select friends, "IT'S OFFICIAL NEXT FRIDAY IS MY LAST DAY!" that's all I could muster... I didn't even reply to the responses, I was trying to make sense of it all in my head....

THIS IS BY FAR THE EASIEST DECISION I HAVE EVER MADE... I FELT AT PEACE EVEN BEFORE I KNEW MY NAME WAS ON THE LIST.... it's really a blessing in disguise for me...
I had taken the layoff....

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

If I had a dollar for everytime someone asked me that this week, I would have enough for that new camera lens I've looking at! ;)

SUCKERPUNCHED, that is the BEST way I know how to describe it.... I can count on one hand the amount of times I called in sick in 13ish years, ONE HAND... I can honestly say that I gave that job my absolute all EVERY SINGLE DAY!! I worked my ass off from the minute I clocked in until the minute I clocked out... Up until today... My VERY last day! I can pretty much tell anyone where EVEYTHING is at the store... For 13 years I worked holidays and weekends, and came in when they called, worked whatever department they needed me to. I definitely gave it my all... and in turn my store director took care of me, I can honestly say that working for Bruce was a GREAT experience.... I worked hard, and I was definitely rewarded with great hours... and with the chance to run my very own dept. It's not his fault, I know that,l I also know that for the last few years the company has been in trouble, and finally "business" took over!! At least I had the pleasure of working with a great boss... because he really was GREAT to me!! :)

I'm not mad.... I'm mostly hurt... It makes me sad that some upper manager along the way, made some VERY BAD decisions... and now 2500 people have to pay for that!
WHAT'S YOUR PLAN???
again a million dollar question... I have no plan, this came WAAAAYYY too quick, I had a vacation planned starting on saturday, so I will go to work today,and make the best of it, it's my last day, first on the agenda?? file for unemployment, then, pack. and on saturday I will board a plane to SF to meet baby Romeo, and visit with my cousins, then I will spend the weekend in Napa with some friends... Friends I made while working for Albertsons... :) I will come home and figure something out... it may include taking a little time off... and maybe going back to school, or maybe putting one of those degrees I already have to good use!! I'm not not sure... what I am sure of is that the possibilities are "ENDLESS...." Spending quality time with the kiddos, the family, the friends sounds good too! ;) Maybe this is a good time to start my marathon training... that's around the corner too! ;) I am looking forward to the summer, and weekends off, and holidays off, at least for a little while.... ;)
WHAT I WILL MISS THE MOST!
The friends I have made in all the years I have been there.... A few GREAT friendships came out of that place....
I was zlulcky to have met some really great people in the last 14 years, and for that I am grateful everyday! :)
co-workers, there are a few I have worked with from day 1... I will miss them the most! they know all about me, and I know all about them, we're like family!
I will miss driving to work for early shifts and watching the sunrise.
The people, the regular customers that came in, on the same day every single week...
The "breaking down the load" conversations....
My BBF, I think I will miss him the most... how could I not, I worked side by side with the guy for 6 years I think, maybe more... He was my sounding board for everything, we discussed everything from people we were "dating" to friends we had in common, to food, sports, news, anything and everything.... I will miss my monday morning "weekend wind down..." haha... and who's going to eat the second half of my lunch everyday? ;) Here's to a GREAT friendship that came out of all of this... I can't wait to see where we both end up... we both got the swift kick in the ass we needed, and now we get to move on.... I can't wait to see what the next chapter will bring us.....
WHAT I WILL TAKE WITH ME AFTER 13 ALMOST 14 YEARS!
great friends
great experience
Great lessons learned from different managers that crossed my path
knowledge,
a great feeling that I PLAYED MY BEST GAME AS OF YET.... I followed the rules, I was loyal, I worked hard, and I got as far to the top as I wanted/chose to get to,
and now it's time for me to go and find something else to play just as hard at, to excel just as well at,
It was definitely NOT on my terms, but I'm sure this is God's way of "helping" me make my decision.... The BIG A was never my career plan, the hours and pay kept me there for as long as I stayed... I was comfortable and I HATE change.... I'm going to be ok... that part I know... the first few weeks are going to be hard... I'll have to stay busy.... I hope that's not too hard... Not setting an alarm for work is going to be hard, my bank account will miss the paycheck..... Yesterday, was horrible and I'm not sure how today will be... But I will be fine as soon as I get over the feeling of resentment/sadness/and being suckerpunched... and with that I will close this chapter of my life... one that lasted a WHOLE almost 14 years... and I will be openly ready to embrace whatever "changes," God has in store for me!! ;)

I don't believe in Horoscopes, I do believe in finding something in writing that sometimes fits right into what may be going on in your life at the time though.... the other day someone shared this with me.... It was PERFECT!!! :)
"Deal with Life's actual events instead of stressing about the scenarios that might happen. All you can do is handle today's work and trust in the spirit of goodness that guides your tomorrow's!"
Here's to new experiences, and welcoming change!!! :D